It’s weird that during spring time, a lot of people break up. And around fall, a lot of people get together. Well recently, I’m all ears when it comes to listening to people’s problems and offering advices to them about relationships and how to fix them.. in this case it’s after a break up.

I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how many years spent, or how many ups and downs a couple have been through.. it all comes down to “where is this relationship going?” and the effort and time two people put in to make it work, to make it balanced.

Honestly, I don’t know what he has done for me to make me feel loved or shown me much really. The amount of effort and time are imbalanced. I can’t always be the only one who want to spend time together whenever we get the chance to. I mean it already sucks enough that our schedule is opposite. This shouldn’t be a one way street.

It makes me wonder, what am I doing here? Where is this relationship going? Of course I want to get married, but not now. We’re both not financially stabled. But I would like to know if it is really going somewhere. And if so, show me. Give me some actions to work with here. Because if there really isn’t anything much going on here, then I would rather not waste another 4 1/2 years with someone who doesn’t give a damn.

I have experienced different kinds of love people have showed me and it makes me wonder what makes them think its okay to show love in their own fucked up ways.

Control: Those who control think it’s okay to show love by controlling everything of their significant other because it is a way of “protection” I suppose.

Abusive: Those who are crazy enough to show love by hurting the other and then care for him/her right after. Or using hurtful words and name callings to bring down the other so one can feel dominate and power.

Lie: Those who believes keeping away the truth is the only way to keep the other happy because what he/she won’t know, won’t hurt him/her. Correct? Secrets aren’t meant to be shared, told, passed around. So those who lie to show their love are disgusting.

Sacrifice: Those who sacrifice as little as their time to talk to the other believes that they are showing their love - when really, that is what they are suppose to do already (Those “sacrifices” are pussy shits). The sacrifices lovers out there that I am talking about are the ones who stands by the other through the highest and the lowest points of each other’s mistakes. Even the unbearable, traumatizing, mind-fucking, nightmare haunting ones… Through the tears, pain, and the scars. The ones who believes that if they have each other in the end, it will be all worth it. Those are the kind of sacrifices one makes in order to make it work.

Comfortable: Those who are comfortable believes that they are in love, but in all honestly, they are not. The comfortablers have incorporated the other into their daily routines in life where it has become something they have to see, talk to, be with - instead of wanting to do all those things, it has become part of a chore. This kind of love is blinded - on the edge - either it will stabilize itself or break in half.

Romantic: Then there are the romantic lovers who believes that being sweet and doing romantic things are enough to show how love they love the other. This will go well with the hopeless romantics, but there has to be more than just flowers, chocolates, surprises, and the materialistic objects. Money can’t buy love.

So, how do you show your love? 

You just have to pick and choose your battles. It’s not worth losing something/someone important.

Remember that the goal is to win the war together.

Someone who is faithful, loyal
Someone who is happy to see me
Someone who is happy when I call/text
Someone who doesn’t take me for granted
Someone who will be there for me no matter what
Someone who knows that losing me will be the biggest mistake of his life
Someone who can deal with me
Someone who won’t fuck up the same mistake more than one time

All of the above is full of shit. It’s the hopeless romantic in me talking. Honestly, all I really want is.. a companionship. I think that is what makes a relationship complete

Madness | Muse

I can’t get these memories out of my mind,
and some kind of madness has started to evolve

I don’t know what to do anymore. But I do know what I want, does that make it easier? A bit. Not so much.

We’re not getting any younger, so no more mind fuck games. No more “guess what I’m thinking about” games and go straight to the point. It’s either we want this or not. A or B. Simple.

Life should be simple, so why make it complicated? Because of feelings. When feelings get involve, shit gets complicated. When shit gets complicated, your thoughts get cloudy and it fucks with you. Stop that. Emotions should never be involved. Ever. Because in the end, it’s not about how we feel, it’s about what we see so we can believe.

Time is being wasted if no action is being taken.