Is certainly new and out of comfort, but I finally feel like an adult. It’s a nice change.
It’s weird hearing my old friends go clubbing. It’s weird not hanging out with them every weekend, or getting lunch during the week. It’s weird not going to Vegas every other month because sadly, in the end, they’re not my friends to begin with.
I have lost in touch with many, and now down to really a handful of girls where we try to keep each other up to date about our lives here and there. Adjusting to this new lifestyle is pretty tiring; at least I sleep and wake up on a normal time now. I know I may not make a whole lot of effort, but I do text people to ask how everything is despite our schedule differences and what not. Try to schedule some lunches and dinners here and there.. and that’s how I think my life is going to be. For now, at least. Until I settle down with this job and my future plans.
Cheers to change.
"Actually, there is a word for that. It’s love. I’m in love with her, okay? If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love. And when you love someone you just, you…you don’t stop, ever. Even when people roll their eyes, and call you crazy. Even then. Especially then. You just– you don’t give up. Because if I could just give up…if I could just, you know, take the whole world’s advice and– and move on and find someone else, that wouldn’t be love. That would be… that would be some other disposable thing that is not worth fighting for. But I– that is not what this is."
Ted | How I Met Your Mother
Anyone can have a relationship if they wanted one. The problem is, not everyone can maintain it.
You can say you want a partner, and eventually, you’ll find one. But how you plan on treating them versus how you actually treat them is a whole different story. Not everyone can stay committed and loyal. Some just want to be in a relationship for the sake of company, a companion and when they get bored of you, you get dropped and they move on with their life.
Point of this rant is… I’m not here to waste my time on someone who can’t balance the effort here. Seems like that is always going to be a problem. Or maybe I just always give too damn much all the time.
Sometimes, the key to making progress is to recognize how to take that very first step. Then you start your journey. You hope for the best and you stick with it, day in and day out. Even if you’re tired, even if you want to walk away. You don’t. Because you are a pioneer. But nobody ever said it’d be easy.
I recently caught up with a friend who just left to NY for dental school. He finished his undergrad within 3 years, finished his master’s in 2 years, and got accepted into NYU and USC for dental school.
I asked him why he chose NYU, he said, “I just can’t stay in 626 any longer. 626 is like a bubble. You can stay here, it’s chill, but once you’ve had enough of that, you need to get the fuck out of here because you’re going no where. You can’t always listen to your parents about what they want you to do; it’s what YOU want to do. 626 will always be home, but you’re not living life if you’re always going to be here. We’ve been here for 23 years already, it’s time to move on. I mean we’re not married, we don’t have anything to tie us down right now. THIS is the time to do whatever we want to do.”
And there goes my motivation, eye opening moment. I’m so inspired by all the things he had already accomplished at our age. And me? I’m unemployed, looking to go back to school to get a preschool permit so I can teach. Ha.
Well, one step at a time right? If I really want it, it will be mine. My goal is to move out to get the fuck out of here, too. SF/NY, I’ll see you soon.